我不是归人，是个过客......

I dreamed of a guy. A boy that ever confessed to me...It was really weird weird weird.. I cant arranged the dream as i just could remember part of it. It was at the field of a college. I told him, I am going to a place alone. After that, i turned my body backward and walked away from him. After weeks by weeks, we had our activities going on as usual but what i did not expect was he came to me one day bringing me two air tickets. One for me and one for himself. I looked up into him then to the air ticket he gave me. It was the place that i mentioned i was going to. He uttered" Allow me to go with you. I doesn't want you to be alone. Please...." I doesn't remember why and how i rejected him. Tears spilt out of his eyes. I could see that his face contorted with pain and the guilt surged through me. He walked towards me but i took one step backward. He reached for me and hugged me hard. I pulled away and, without a word, I placed the air ticket in his palm. He swallowed h...

As i am going to have a new start,with a new surrounding that i think every people in my class are going to speak English at all of the time, i choose to write this blog in English. Any mistake i did, just feel free to correct me^^ It was a few days ago that i get to know my interview result.It was indeed a great shock to know that i did not get my 1st choice but my 2nd choice. I never think of this result i would get even i know it is not an impossible decision from them. So,i cry. But after all i think back, my mind was blank with what's the reason i want to cry. After i calm down my mind, i realize that TESL is actually what i want before. It is a language course that is my aim before. So i ask myself, what for i am crying? Haha..It is kind of stupid action isn't it? I know that it is a great challenge for me in taking this courses as my English level is not in that high level, just considered okay okay...So, i hope i can catch up everything there and the most important is t...

对不起， 是我一时无法控制我的情绪， 使你难过、使你感觉到石头般的压力。 我， 应该要多体谅你， 跟该感激你。 感激你忙里依然抽时间陪我。 谢谢你， 与我共度伤心与开心的时光。 谢谢你告诉我， 你一切地一切。 谢谢你， 相信自己也相信我。 真的， 真的， 很谢谢你。 我们可以找一天， 什么话都不说， 什么事都不做， 就那样静静地， 坐在海边， 一起看海， 一起听海吗？ 我， 可以， 就这样依赖着你吗？

不管以前多么不想回到中六，下星期一，中六开学，我会去。而现在的自己也没有不喜欢中六的念头，反而有种想留下的心情。这几天，朋友都一个一个地各分东西，到他们的目的地上学去。感觉将要读中六的同班同学没有几个。感觉我们的距离越来越远，越来越远。就算是个小小的聚会，我们也并没有像以前那样全班同学出席。或许不是说没出席，而是有的同学没有邀请全班同学，所以就自从高二毕业后，我都没有一次参加过一大班的同学聚会。 说到想留下，我自己也不太懂为什么。也许觉得外面的世界太复杂、不适合现在的我。或许斗湖对我来说真的是比较安宁而且安全。别人说有机会就因该到国外留学。矛盾的是自己有时也认同，有时却不认同因为就像我所说的，马来西亚安全(free from natural disaster)=p 想想看纽西兰有地震、日本有海啸、美国有龙卷风，马来西亚就比较少会有这些事发生。哈哈。如果免费机会当然是去啦！不去的是傻的咯。 回母校。好久没有被校规限制。其实这次回去，我有种很野的心态。我很想剪短头发，剪个有fashion的发型、想修细细的眉去学校、想不夹头发、想不戴领带、想穿低腰裙、想不卸掉透明指甲油，想不剪短短的指甲、不想参加任何课外活动。想叛逆！哈哈！