我不是归人，是个过客......

I dreamed of a guy. A boy that ever confessed to me...It was really weird weird weird.. I cant arranged the dream as i just could remember part of it. It was at the field of a college. I told him, I am going to a place alone. After that, i turned my body backward and walked away from him. After weeks by weeks, we had our activities going on as usual but what i did not expect was he came to me one day bringing me two air tickets. One for me and one for himself. I looked up into him then to the air ticket he gave me. It was the place that i mentioned i was going to. He uttered" Allow me to go with you. I doesn't want you to be alone. Please...." I doesn't remember why and how i rejected him. Tears spilt out of his eyes. I could see that his face contorted with pain and the guilt surged through me. He walked towards me but i took one step backward. He reached for me and hugged me hard. I pulled away and, without a word, I placed the air ticket in his palm. He swallowed h

As i am going to have a new start,with a new surrounding that i think every people in my class are going to speak English at all of the time, i choose to write this blog in English. Any mistake i did, just feel free to correct me^^ It was a few days ago that i get to know my interview result.It was indeed a great shock to know that i did not get my 1st choice but my 2nd choice. I never think of this result i would get even i know it is not an impossible decision from them. So,i cry. But after all i think back, my mind was blank with what's the reason i want to cry. After i calm down my mind, i realize that TESL is actually what i want before. It is a language course that is my aim before. So i ask myself, what for i am crying? Haha..It is kind of stupid action isn't it? I know that it is a great challenge for me in taking this courses as my English level is not in that high level, just considered okay okay...So, i hope i can catch up everything there and the most important is t

对不起， 是我一时无法控制我的情绪， 使你难过、使你感觉到石头般的压力。 我， 应该要多体谅你， 跟该感激你。 感激你忙里依然抽时间陪我。 谢谢你， 与我共度伤心与开心的时光。 谢谢你告诉我， 你一切地一切。 谢谢你， 相信自己也相信我。 真的， 真的， 很谢谢你。 我们可以找一天， 什么话都不说， 什么事都不做， 就那样静静地， 坐在海边， 一起看海， 一起听海吗？ 我， 可以， 就这样依赖着你吗？

不管以前多么不想回到中六，下星期一，中六开学，我会去。而现在的自己也没有不喜欢中六的念头，反而有种想留下的心情。这几天，朋友都一个一个地各分东西，到他们的目的地上学去。感觉将要读中六的同班同学没有几个。感觉我们的距离越来越远，越来越远。就算是个小小的聚会，我们也并没有像以前那样全班同学出席。或许不是说没出席，而是有的同学没有邀请全班同学，所以就自从高二毕业后，我都没有一次参加过一大班的同学聚会。 说到想留下，我自己也不太懂为什么。也许觉得外面的世界太复杂、不适合现在的我。或许斗湖对我来说真的是比较安宁而且安全。别人说有机会就因该到国外留学。矛盾的是自己有时也认同，有时却不认同因为就像我所说的，马来西亚安全(free from natural disaster)=p 想想看纽西兰有地震、日本有海啸、美国有龙卷风，马来西亚就比较少会有这些事发生。哈哈。如果免费机会当然是去啦！不去的是傻的咯。 回母校。好久没有被校规限制。其实这次回去，我有种很野的心态。我很想剪短头发，剪个有fashion的发型、想修细细的眉去学校、想不夹头发、想不戴领带、想穿低腰裙、想不卸掉透明指甲油，想不剪短短的指甲、不想参加任何课外活动。想叛逆！哈哈！